Lament of her who is separated from Him

In the last tirumozhi parakAla nAyaki said ‘nam peNmai SindittirAdu pOi toomalar neer koDu tOzhi! nAm tozhudu EttinAl kAr muhil vaNNarai kaNgaLAl kANungolO?’. Due to her haste in joining Him she says so even in contradiction with her Atma swaroopa. emberumAn could not bear to see her state. He says ‘AzhwAr! Just because I carry a little while should you take such a daring step? Don’t you know how much I long to have a jeevAtma like you? I am in fact, very impatient and bear the separation with difficulty. Should you act like this knowing your nature very well?’ AzhwAr listens to Him. But like a thirsty man whose thirst increases more by drinking only a mouthful of water he feels more for Him. Hence AzhwAr again becomes parakAla nAyaki.

This tirumozhi is an andAdi.

1. mannilangu bAradattu tEroorndu mAvaliyai
ponnilangu tiNvilangilvaittu porukaDalSoozh |
tennilangai eeDazhitta dEvarkkidu kANeer
ennilangu SangODu ezhil tOTTrirundEnE || One ||

parakAla nAyaki says ‘Our swAmi drove the chariot of arjuna in the mahABArata war in order to kill the kings on duyOdana’s side. He listened to the woes of indra and begged three feet of land, measured them as trivikrama and sent him to pAtALa lOka. He seized the city of lanka surrounded by rough seas, waged war with the rAkShasas and destroyed them all. i desired to have Him who is such a Saktiman. i did not get Him but lost my beauty and bangles.

2. irundAn en uLLattu iraivan karaiSEr
parundAL kaLiTTrukku aruL Seidu SengaN |
perundOL neDumAlai pEr pADiyADa
varundAdu en kongai oLimannumannE || Two ||

parakAla nAyaki feels happier here since. She feels He cannot leave me since He is residing in my heart (uLLattu irundAn). He is the one who saved gajEndra from the clutches of crocodile by coming post haste on garuDa. His eyes still reveals the vAtsalya that He had on the elephant. If i sing His names and dance with ecstasy my breasts swell with pride and mind feels happy.

karai SEr—karai has many meanings, one of them being mortar. In that cast it means mortar like strong legs. It is taken to mean ‘blood’ then it means the bleeding legs caught by the crocodile.

3. annE ivarai arivan marainAngum
munnE uraitta munivar ivarvandu |
ponnEi vaLaikavarndu pOhAr manam puhundu
ennE ivareNNum eNNam ariyOmE || Three ||

She said earlier ‘innAr enru ariyEn annE AzhiyODum ponnAr SArngamuDaiya aDihaLai innAr enru ariyEn’. Now she says ‘annE! ivarai arivan’. He is the one who taught the four vEdas to brahma. He has entered my mind deciding not to leave it. But suddenly He desires to have my bangles. i don’t know why? Why should He do it? What is His idea?

ponnEi vaLai kavarndu—He desires my bangles means He wants to leave causing my bangles to slip out of my lean arms. ‘i fear the very idea of entering my mind is only to leave it immediately’.

4. ariyOmE enru uraikkalAmE emakku
veriyAr pozhilSoozh viyankuDandai mEvi |
SiriyAn Or piLLaiyAi meLLanaDandiTTu
uriyAr naruveNNei uNDuhandAr tammaiyE || Four ||

In the last pASura she said ‘annE ivarai arivan’. Her friend asks her ‘How do you know Him? you said earlier innAr enru ariyEn, now you say ‘innAr enru arivEn’. Why this contradiction?’

parakAla nAyaki replies—‘Oh! tOzhee! The truth is i know Him very well. i wanted to see Him ‘ingE pOdungolO inavE neDugaN kaLippa kongAr SOlai kuDandai kiDanda mAl ingE pOdungolO?’ To fulfill my desire He has come from tirukkuDandai (veriyAr pozhil Soozh viyan kuDandai). i know Him to be a small child who would steal butter kept in ‘uris’. He was happy about His act since He like to eat whatever His dAsas touched’.

5. tammaiyE nALum vaNangittozhuvArkku
tammaiyE okka aruL Seivar AdalAl |
tammaiyE nALum vaNangittozhudirainji
tammaiyE paTTrAmanattu enrum vaittOmE || Five ||

‘We shall never worship anyone other than Him’—to such people He gives paramapada and equal status. Therefore let us worship Him with thought, words and deeds. Let us fall at His feet and seek Him alone as rakShaka. He is the upAya (mArga) and upEya (goal). This alone is the paramaprayOjana (fruit ultimate.

6. vaittAr aDiyAr manattil vaittu inbam
uittAr oLiviSumbil Or aDivaittu OraDikkum |
eittAdu maN enru imaiyOr tozhudEtti
kaittAmarai kuvikkum kaNNan en kaNNanaiyE || Six ||

i enjoy the bliss when i have Him in my mind similarly the Baktas enjoy Him when they keep Him in their minds. The brahmAdi dEvas enjoyed the bliss when they worshipped Him with anjali when He measured the Boomi with foot and measured the dEva lOka with another foot. They sing His praise.

OraDikkum eittAdu maN—‘pirAn un perumai pirar ArarivAr urayulahaLanda nAnru varAhattu eyiTraLavu pOdAvAru enkolO endai aDikkaLavu pOndapadi’—mudal tiruvandAdi

7. kaNNan manattuLLE nirkavum kaivaLaihaL
ennO kazhanru ivai enna mAyangaL |
peNNODum peNmaiyOm nirka avan mEya
aNNal malaiyum arangamum pADOmE || Seven ||

nAyaki wonders why should her bangles become loose even when He is in her mind? It is proper to be so if He is far away. i am not satisfied at that. i want to go to tiruvEngaDam and tiruvarangam, see Him and sing Him. Like a rich man who like to have some more money, i like to have His darSan not satisfied by His presence in my mind. ‘kuLiraruvi vEngaDatten gOvindan guNam pADi aLiyatta mEhangAL Avi kAttiruppEnE’—nAchchiyAr tirumozhi. Let the bangles get loose and let my womanly character get lost i shall not desist from going to tirumala and tiruvarangam.

‘nOkki nOkki unnai kANban yAn enadAviyuLLE nAkku neeLvan jnAnamillai nADOrum ennuDaiya Akkai uLLum AviyuLLum ellA purattinuLLum neekkaminri engum ninrAi ninnai arindarindE’—tiruvAimozhi expresses similar idea.

8. pADOmE endaiperumAnai pADininru
ADOmE Ayiram pErAnai pErninaindu |
SooDOmE SooDum tuzhAi alangalSooDi nAm
kooDOmE kooDakkurippAhil nannenjE || Eight ||

It is said in SAstra ‘mana Eva manuShyANAm kAraNam bandha mOkShayO:’—the mind is alone the cause of samsAra or mOkSha. AzhwAr says ‘Oh! My mind! Don’t you want to sing His praise? Don’t you want to chant His thousand names? Don’t you want to dance in ecstasy? Don’t you want samslESha with Him if He so desires?

‘yAnum en nenjum iSaidozhindOm’. Only if you have these desires you will get them. But the more important fact is He too should have the desire to have you only then what is impossible is made possible.

9. nannenjE namberumAn nALum inidamarum
annam SEr kAnal aNiyAli kaitozhudu |
munnam SEr valvinaihaL pOha muhilvaNNan
ponnam SEr SEvaDimEl pOdaNiya peTTrOmE || Nine ||

Oh! My good mind! Are we not fortunate in having Him in tiruvali? Oh! He resides in tiruvali where we live. i need not cross rivers, climb tall mountains or travel long distances to see Him. Aha! We are fortunate that we can wear His tuzhasi mAla. Why were you desiring to get something far off when it is near You?

nannenjE—nAyaki is pleased at her mind for it desires what should be desired. The ‘nannenjE’ of the previous pASura means ‘Oh! Mind! Please desire Him’. The mind listened to her request and desired Him. Now she calls ‘nannenjE’ for it obeyed her.

10. peTTrAr Ar AyirampErAnai pErpADa
peTTrAn kaliyan oliSei tamizhmAlai |
kaTTrArO muTTrulahALvAr ivaikETkal
uTTrArku urutuyarillai ulahattE || Ten ||

tirumangai AzhwAr has sung His names who has sung thousand names. Those fortunate men who sing these pASuras, a garland of letters, will not only have Him but will rule over the three worlds. Not only those who read are fortunate but also those who listen will get rid of all duhKas.

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